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Can somebody check for me my english article? 更新中……

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发表于 6-4-2013 10:42 PM | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
This article is my real own experience, i hope that i can share some experience and get some feedback from you, thank a lot


My First presentation experience(part 1)


Before i study at college, i never stand in front of people and then give a talk. After 1-2 weeks of studying at college, our lecturer tells us, we will have a presentation, we need to prepare a presentation about the title of ' World Famous Entrepreneur'. Our lecturer provides some guidelines to us, and we need to choose the entrepreneur as fast as possible, it is because if it is selected by others, you will not select it anymore.
I raise up my hand, and all the people look at me, suddenly i seem like the animals at the zoo. I ask our lecturer, may i select now? Sure, answered by our lecturer. So, I leave out of my seat, and go to in front to fill out the form.

I know at the time, my classmates are curious about who is the entrepreneur that i chosen.   They guess me choosing Bill Gates, Steve jobs and etc. But actually i choose Robert kuok who is the richest man in Malaysia. After that, all the people are crazy to select Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. They seem like dont know any other entrepreneur except them.

After i done the decision, i can slow down my steps for a while. I almost have a concept about how well the presentation i would like to present. Therefore, i go to ask Google, i surf all the information about Robert Kuok, no matter Chinese or English article. I cant find any information that is talking bad things about Robert Kuok. Reasons why i decided to present him? Because he is my idol, I admire him all the time. He has a good sense of worth for doing his business, he says As long as we have benevolent thoughts and do not go against our conscience in our actions , we will be able to walk on with a determined mind.

to be continued~~

Part 2

Part 3
本帖最后由 看不没有做 于 12-5-2013 09:08 PM 编辑

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发表于 7-4-2013 01:58 PM | 显示全部楼层
I never had any experience of giving a talk to the public. After one to two weeks of studying in college, my lecturer has assigned each of the students including me in my class to prepare a presentation regarding the world famous entrepreneur. My lecturer guided all of us and gave us some informative guidelines, each of us must choose an entrepreneur as the main subject of our presentation and it shall not be repeatedly used by another student. Immediately, I raised up my hand and requested to fill the form since I've already know the entrepreneur I will be choosing, I don't want to waste any more time because the entrepreneur I want might be chosen by another student!

I was the first one to raise up my hand, everyone stared at me and I guess most of them think that I might be choosing those "typical" yet famous world-wide entrepreneurs like Bill Gates, Steve jobs, and such, but I prove them wrong! This is because I've chosen Robert Kuok - who is the richest entrepreneur in Malaysia, as the main subject of my presentation while most of the others go for the really really famous one like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, John Mackey.. I guess they didn't know much about successful entrepreneurs from Malaysia huh.

I've drafted a concept map in my mind about how I'm going to perform and deliver my message in my presentation. Without wasting any more time, I searched for almost all relevant information about Robert Kuok by utilising the Google search engine, I collected and pinned down some useful articles about him, whether it is in Chinese or English, I just want them all. I'm glad because I did not see any negative reviews or bad comments on Robert Kuok when I "Google-search" him.  Why did I choose to idolise Robert Kuok? This is because he has a strong sense of business ethics and self-worth, I admire one of his famous quote "As long as we have benevolent thoughts and do not go against our conscience in our actions , we will be able to walk on with a determined mind."

大概大概帮你改过和improvise了..sentence structure也改了很多。(不是100%对
我觉得你写的这篇英文短文大多数都是直接从华语的句子造型翻译过来,但还有进步的空间
加油! 本帖最后由 YongL 于 7-4-2013 02:04 PM 编辑

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 楼主| 发表于 7-4-2013 08:25 PM | 显示全部楼层
YongL 发表于 7-4-2013 01:58 PM
I never had any experience of giving a talk to the public. After one to two weeks of studying in col ...

哈哈,直译的后果~
我想透过这个方式来进步我的英文,
谢谢你哦,
你是第1个回答的,
我过后还会更新,所以请你有空时,记得回来看看~
谢谢~~
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发表于 8-4-2013 10:00 AM | 显示全部楼层
本地学生的通病,没有时态......
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 楼主| 发表于 8-4-2013 07:22 PM | 显示全部楼层
风满楼 发表于 8-4-2013 10:00 AM
本地学生的通病,没有时态......

哈哈,真的不知怎么用~
我又更新了,
可以帮我看看吗?
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 楼主| 发表于 8-4-2013 07:23 PM | 显示全部楼层
My First presentation experiencepart 2
For preparing my presentation, I did a crazy thing to perform well on my presentation. I went to read a novel about him, the whole book is about 300pages. To prevent me missing any main points, i almost used 1 week to finish reading it. It is really making me more recognise about him, so I'm more confident to perform well. I also went to Youtube to see any videos about him, but his videos are too less, because he is a media-shy person, he doesn't like to be interviewed. Fortunately, he accepted to attend a dialogue TV programme in China recently, it is really rare.

Now everything's ok, but my next problem was also coming. Due to my poor English, I afraid that i cannot translate it from chinese to english very well. Therefore, I was starting to find the english's article about him, and glanced over his profile on Wikipedia. Due to different way different information, so i could not determine which is correct. Lastly, i decided to skip the unsure parts.

For the presentation, the time management is an art, it is important because if you are given 5 minutes to present it, but you have been presenting more than 5 minutes, the lecturer will have the right to stop. Instead, if you have done before the given time, it maybe seem like your points are not enough, so your mark will be lower. So, the concept of time is very important to let you get the extra mark. Some strict lecturers will not accept the part of exceeding the time given, so your concept may not be emphasized very well, it is wasting for your mark.

For my advice, use the rule of 8/2. Using the 80% of the given time to present, and using the 20% of the given time for the emergency. Some people may not know the presentation exists the potential mark which is for the Q&A section. Most of the lecturers will not tell you, but it still exists. At this time, the 20% of the given time can be using for the Q&A section. Hence, you match the time properly is also not the best way, because you may lose the mark of Q&A section. The best way is using the rule of 8/2, believe it or not?

to be continued~~

本帖最后由 看不没有做 于 8-4-2013 07:29 PM 编辑

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发表于 9-4-2013 01:27 PM | 显示全部楼层
看不没有做 发表于 8-4-2013 07:22 PM
哈哈,真的不知怎么用~
我又更新了,
可以帮我看看吗?

帮你改得再多,帮助也不大,你需要的是自己去掌握好基本的语法,
没有基本的语法概念和应用能力,你的英语永远是残缺的,为什么不让你的英语自己站起来?

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 楼主| 发表于 9-4-2013 07:15 PM | 显示全部楼层
风满楼 发表于 9-4-2013 01:27 PM
帮你改得再多,帮助也不大,你需要的是自己去掌握好基本的语法,
没有基本的语法概念和应用能力,你的英 ...

从错误中学习也不是一种学习吗?
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发表于 9-4-2013 07:57 PM | 显示全部楼层
看不没有做 发表于 9-4-2013 07:15 PM
从错误中学习也不是一种学习吗?

你想想看,你读了那么多的文章课文,都是用标准语法写的,你有因此从中掌握到正确的语法吗?
同样的道理,帮你改了,对你帮助也不大。

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 楼主| 发表于 9-4-2013 08:13 PM | 显示全部楼层
风满楼 发表于 9-4-2013 07:57 PM
你想想看,你读了那么多的文章课文,都是用标准语法写的,你有因此从中掌握到正确的语法吗?
同样的道理 ...

那该怎么学呢?请教了
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发表于 9-4-2013 11:09 PM | 显示全部楼层
看不没有做 发表于 9-4-2013 08:13 PM
那该怎么学呢?请教了

把基本的语法和语言思维搞好,
英语如果基础掌握好就越学越容易,基础没打好就越学越难

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发表于 10-4-2013 10:56 AM | 显示全部楼层
风满楼 发表于 9-4-2013 11:09 PM
把基本的语法和语言思维搞好,
英语如果基础掌握好就越学越容易,基础没打好就越学越难

真的很認同,語言的思維。。。有些人會英文裡夾帶華語+廣東話詞彙。。有點受不了。
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发表于 10-4-2013 11:02 AM | 显示全部楼层
These articles are based on my personal experiences, i like to share with you some of my experiences and hope to get some feedback from you, thanks a lot.
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发表于 4-5-2013 12:31 PM | 显示全部楼层
在其他论坛有回复你这个帖子了
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发表于 10-5-2013 12:13 AM | 显示全部楼层
风满楼 发表于 9-4-2013 01:27 PM
帮你改得再多,帮助也不大,你需要的是自己去掌握好基本的语法,
没有基本的语法概念和应用能力,你的英 ...

你说的挺有道理的。
我有一本蛮好的英语grammar书,可不懂要怎样才可以将其运用为最恰当。
我有试过每晚读它。可是,就缺乏实用机会,所以进步都不大。
我又没法将全部通通死背进脑。。。。。。。。。
虽然我很庆幸可以掌握华文的基本书写能力。可是,如果英文我也可以掌握得像华文一样,那就真的满足了。
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发表于 10-5-2013 12:29 AM | 显示全部楼层
batman69 发表于 10-4-2013 10:56 AM
真的很認同,語言的思維。。。有些人會英文裡夾帶華語+廣東話詞彙。。有點受不了。

对。 我也很讨厌。虽然我英文不太好,可是,我尽可能都不掺杂别的语言在日常英语对话。就算“lah"我也避免。
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发表于 10-5-2013 12:31 AM | 显示全部楼层
风满楼 发表于 9-4-2013 11:09 PM
把基本的语法和语言思维搞好,
英语如果基础掌握好就越学越容易,基础没打好就越学越难

语法是grammar。那,什么是语言思维?
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发表于 10-5-2013 12:39 AM | 显示全部楼层
YongL 发表于 7-4-2013 01:58 PM
I never had any experience of giving a talk to the public. After one to two weeks of studying in col ...

嗨,你好。想问问你,你本身是华校生或英校生?要你是英校生,英文好就好像没什么出奇。要你是华校生,就要请教下你如何掌握好这语言。我学来学去半桶水。这一次我是铁下心要尽我可能学好它。至少掌握好基本文法。
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发表于 10-5-2013 12:42 AM | 显示全部楼层
看不没有做 发表于 8-4-2013 07:23 PM
My First presentation experience( part 2 )
For preparing my presentation, I did a crazy thing to  ...

I am not a qualify person to do so. Mine not really good as well. Let's improve together
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发表于 10-5-2013 08:17 AM | 显示全部楼层
sk2013 发表于 10-5-2013 12:39 AM
嗨,你好。想问问你,你本身是华校生或英校生?要你是英校生,英文好就好像没什么出奇。要你是华校生,就 ...

你好,
我当然不是英校生..
我是华校生,从小到现在都在大多数华人的环境下成长与沟通,很少机会能用到英文,除了上网/学校考试之外~ (所以本人讲英文是有点烂的哈哈,写方面还在学习中,但是我华文写作是不错的哦呵呵


要学好英文首先就要打好你的基础 - grammar, 只要你语法没错,遵守“规则”,你写出来的英文不必用什么深奥bombastic的字人家也懂...有时候人家捉不到你写什么是因为grammar的问题 (好像你直接从华语Translate去英文,要学习如何用英文的mindset来造句)


掌握了Grammar才去“extend”你的vocabulary(生词)的范围。除此之外,也要多读(读online的新闻/content内容等等都用英文,比如:CNN News, lifehacker, malaysiakini..etc )多看多写(少用cari华文了,去cari英文/lowyat forum 写写写),真的是能帮到很多的.. 多读多看但没多写等于没用没效果!(lowyat forum的account已经有接近1200posts了,现在compare跟我最最最旧的post的英文语法真的是有不同的,看回去时才发现!). 我大多数是在上网时学习的,中学时也遇到一位很好的学校英文老师,每天都一直revise grammar的东西,48注重grammar== 那是我还觉得有点怪这老师,现在我错了

要学好英文是要按部就班的,不能一步登天(任何一种语言都一样啦呵呵
我发现到另外一件事那就是写跟讲是有差别的,一线之差吧? 写得好并不代表你能讲(沟通)得好哦。
最重要和最实际的练习,要写,敢敢
加油!



本帖最后由 YongL 于 10-5-2013 08:21 AM 编辑

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