我应该怎么办? 一个绝望的丈夫!

tonyy2999

hey man, you got a super business woman as wife, holding master degree in accounting in senior manag ...
2.6.24.3 发表于 21-4-2011 09:00 PM

She is a Group Financial Controller in a multinational corporation.

I am head of finance division in a multinational corporation too. But obviously, not up to her level.

We growth up together, gone through poor time, hard time, career building time........23 years. It is so sad it end up like this. I really wish i can turn back time, so i can set thing right.

tonyy2999

我只看到你一直贊自己是好父親，善良，受教育比妻子好，看起來年輕，靚仔～
大佬是不是你一廂情願的想法啊 ...
deadman 发表于 21-4-2011 10:38 PM

You are right, i am terrible in her eyes because i cannot give her the kind of life she wanted to have.

I am a quiet type of guy, did not have much social activities, she knew it when we started. But after all these years, peoples changed.

KHTAY

潜水很久了，偶尔起来透透气。恕我直言，这里只有你在说，所以实际情况是怎样，我们外人根本不会知道，也不能给你什么好意见。如果以一面之词就下定论那根本都不客观。不过既然你都开帖了，你肯定也是想看看网友的意见。上面有些大大的回复很有道理，所以就不再重复。

先声明以下只是我不客观的意见。我想说的是我总感觉你说的一大堆什么事业啦，根本是烟雾弹都好像不是主因。还是觉得出轨才是主因，不然你也不会为了她去公干而快发狂了。查查吧，如果你想确认的话就想办法确认。做个了断对你未必不好。

tonyy2999

或许她是对的。
也许是时候放手，继续前行寻找另一个伴侣。
但我真的不能，
我非常痛苦。

chlean6834

可怜你，振作吧，有时真的是为了孩子

kuku33

i think your wife was badly influence by her working environment, the world of money, as you couldnt given to her in her life time.

i bet your wife have a nice look, or said, pretty, attractive, so that she could had high post with diploma.

i think there is a way u can do, if u really love her:

as you quote: she said, she is going to leave u only when your children independent, i think it might need at least afew years.

ppl alwaz forget, time not only money, time oso showing the fact in life.

after a few years, when she comes to ages, i dont think a women still can hold her beauty well, no matter how she try.

But for a Man, 40, its another start, because they are going to reach the PRIME time of thier life time. thier thinking is more carefully, thier action is more mature, start earning alot of money bcoz they make less mistake, but lots of right decision.

u should take this opportunity, since u know she wouldn leave u these few years, u can concerntrate to put more efforts on your career, to achieve success. as a financial expert like u, i think u should have alot of ways to earn money.

when u have enough money to satisfied her need, arguement lesser, and the most important thing is, she is getting older....less bargain power

u can have the rest of her life

中文

listen_up

head of finance division的丈夫也会嫌? 你老婆也太自大了吧? 用职位来决定爱不爱一个人? 老兄，放手吧。你值得拥有的可以更美丽的生活。记得，不要回头，因为她今天的狠心是可以选择的，但是她选择放弃了你放弃了家庭，你，也必须狠心，但是不是对孩子啦。加油吧。唉……

babytargus

男人不坏，女人不爱，我想这个才是关键。

lai19

lz你以经不是你老婆需要的人了还有一定有人在说是非,不然不可能现在才会变心

Good_Idea

我应该怎么办?
我现在42岁,19岁遇到了我现在的妻子。她也是我的初恋。我们在一起23年了。我们结婚已经13年 ...
tonyy2999 发表于 19-4-2011 10:37 AM

   一家出国旅游下，寻找感觉回来～～～家的感觉，爱的感觉～！！祝福你～！！

PEACE_TAN1

楼主正在说着你老婆多幸运进入职场的时候，有没有想过李嘉诚是连字都不认识的文盲，自己当初没有去争取，老婆变心了才来吵，你不是不好，而是不够好。

wanwanfat

既然她多不重視這個家庭和孩子了， 那就找一個新的女友來代替他吧。祝你早日找到你心目中所喜歡的。

tonyy2999

楼主正在说着你老婆多幸运进入职场的时候，有没有想过李嘉诚是连字都不认识的文盲，自己当初没有去争取，老 ...
PEACE_TAN1 发表于 22-4-2011 08:14 AM

Not true, some time it depends on luck and timing.

I had rough career path, recession 1997, construction industry most of the time...u go figure.

In opposite:

My wife joined a foreign firm at the right timing, her superior was caught misappropriate of funds, so she took over the job. Result : 15 years of average 4 month bonus + 10%-20% annual increment + fully maintained co. car.

To many peoples, i am successful. But to her, i am not. To be called successful, i got to be working at higher level than her = CEO.

It's very wrong to judge a person by his wealth / career position. I totally disagreed. I judge a person by his personality. Rich man = good man? i doubt so.

蜜糖豆浆

别绝望，事情的发生一定有他的原由与决绝的方法，好好的沟通。。。
对症下药！加油！！

andrew520

老兄，积极的克服这一个挑战吧！

PEACE_TAN1

Not true, some time it depends on luck and timing.

I had rough career path, recession 1997, c ...
tonyy2999 发表于 22-4-2011 08:39 AM

When u keep arguing how lucky of your wife in career, wasting time and tell other people how desperate u are in forum. Why not try to figure how to improve your current state, Why climb the corporate ladder when you can own the ladder? I dint ask u just directly quite the job but least crate any kind of new business that you are interest.The true owner of corporate is owner or shareholder, not CEO.

.

“It's very wrong to judge a person by his wealth /career position.” I was quite agreeing with that. But the people who very success, much be having very good ability or different mindset with us. Richman doesn’t mean a good man, but a rich man always mean has the ability to “think outside the box”. Because of his ability to look at any problem with a new set of eyes,and from several perspectives, people come to him to solve things, to start things, and to run things.

What you missing is the courage to change and think out of box. Courage to try a new thing, courage to leave your own conform zone. If your wife feels that better income and social state are better person / husband, then be more success and wealth .Be a thinker and think about how to be it. And Stop wasting time to complaining and acting like cry baby.

这里是华文论坛，不要害我被版主扣分哦。

aquarius83

回复 113# tonyy2999


    赞成，时机和运气真的很重要！我想只有哪些在职场不顺的人才能真正感受到...

2469fg

怎么说呢，我虽然没有你太太的工作地位，但是我也许可以了解她10年来对你的失望。  

这10年里，你有赞美过她为你和这家庭的付出吗？ 这10年里， 你有没有表现出一位一家之主和一位丈夫应有的责任？  男人在失落时， 只是想到自己。

我说的是10年里的赞美， 不是10年后的赞美！！

你现在有比较好的工作了， 才来要求你的太太这个那个。。。那么在你“不幸”10年里，她有对你要求什么吗？  我相信她应该是默默的付出， 只希望你可以振作。。。10年的失望真的不是一下可以忘记的。

10年后既然你已经可以自立了，她也觉得是时候有自己的世界了。

你爱她， 就祝福她吧。

stephen84

做男人真的好辛苦， 难道男人一定要是最强的那个吗
我希望我像着小鸟，能在天空自由飞翔，摆脱这尘世间一切的枷锁

mulan316

我是女人，以女人的直觉，楼主的太太变心了，而且是个很本领的男人，所以心里不断的拿他与丈夫作比较。
如果不是变心，是不会因为这么没得比较的比较而不再爱她的丈夫。

丈夫也许不太浪漫，可是她不是现在才知道。也不应该在自己成功了过后嫌弃丈夫的不浪漫。试想想，如果丈夫一项以来都很浪漫，身边也许也不只有一位女人。

楼主，她变心了。想想你还要挽回吗？如果要的话，好好的谈。如果她坚持选择爱别的男人，那么告诉她要让孩子知道。不要在孩子面前扮完美的母亲。