我应该怎么办? 一个绝望的丈夫!

tonyy2999

回复 40# Datin

Hi Datin,

Sorry to type in engligh, it is faster this way. Google translation i@#$#$.

Agreed, this issue existed for certain period of time. Every time (since years ago) i bring up this issue for mutual solution, she will then talk about those things that happned 10 years ago, how lousy i was, bla bla bla.

To me, we should focus on what we should do now for our family future, definately not what was happned 10 years ago. She was not up the mark 10 years ago, but i am still love her. I believe "forgive and forget" for a long term relationship, no one is perfect. If i am perfect, my another half would not be her. We love the person the way she was. That's why she always said i am a good person with good heart but she is not.

I really do not understand, how come she can't let the past just past, so that we can rebuild for future.

How can she suggest i outsource my sexual needs, this is rediculous!

She is pushing me to the limit, i have need too, but now i am caught and have no way for it. I am really depressed. If i find another women, i am destroying everything that i hold on for very long time: my family...

Oh god, please help me. What have i done to deserve this?????????????????????????????????????

淇淇

回复  Datin

Hi Datin,

Sorry to type in engligh, it is faster this way. Google translation .
...
tonyy2999 发表于 19-4-2011 02:58 PM

看來，她是在你最down的時候就把你定格了，也許那時開始她内心不自覺產生了看你不起的心態，所以才會一直拿來講。也許當時她對你的愛已經削減了，只是經濟/孩子/責任的使然，而沒有提出來。現在她可能覺得你可以handle這樣的situation，所以才會這樣提出。

pohchi

再和她谈谈吧！行动改变什么吧！

tonyy2999

回复 42# 淇淇

23年来我们走过多少风雨,

只是一个梦,

我记得她是我的初恋，真希望她也将是我最后的爱。


I have done everything that i suppose to do. I really do not know what else can i do.

淇淇

回复  淇淇

23年来我们走过多少风雨,

只是一个梦,

我记得她是我的初恋，真希望她也将是我最后的 ...
tonyy2999 发表于 19-4-2011 03:34 PM

雖然我講很多次了，不過再講也無所謂。。。。女人嘛，一旦變心/不愛/沒有愛了。。。十頭牛都拉不回的了。注：變心不一定是有男人，也許真的純粹不再愛你了。人是會變的，很難説。。。爲什麽她會這樣。

yangzio

男人四十才开始!~

James-Yeo

Time, it needs time
To win back your love again.
I will be there, I will be there.

Love, only love
Can bring back your love someday.
I will be there, I will be there.

Fight, babe, I'll fight
To win back your love again.
I will be there, I will be there.

Love, only love
Can break down the walls someday.
I will be there, I will be there.

If we'd go again
All the way from the start,
I would try to change
The things that killed our love.

Your pride has build a wall, so strong
That I can't get through.
Is there really no chance
To start once again?
I'm loving you.

Try, baby try
To trust in my love again.
I will be there, I will be there.

Love, your love
Just shouldn't be thrown away.
I will be there, I will be there.

If we'd go again
All the way from the start,
I would try to change
The things that killed our love.

Your pride has build a wall, so strong
That I can't get through.
Is there really no chance
To start once again?

If we'd go again
All the way from the start,
I would try to change
The things that killed our love.

Yes I've hurt your pride, and I know
What you've been through.
You should give me a chance
This can't be the end.

I'm still loving you.
I'm still loving you,
I need your love.
I'm still loving you.
Still loving you, baby...

tonyy2999

回复 48# James-Yeo


thanks james, one of my favorite song.

James-Yeo

回复 49# tonyy2999

make her an offer she could not refuse.

北海蛟龙

拿出勇气创一番事业出来吧，男人40还年轻！如果你认为起因是因为她的事业超越了你，那你非常应该有决心与勇气让自己的事业再度超越她——如果你真的很爱她、愿意尽一切努力挽回你们的感情/关系——除非你的真心只是说说而已！如果你没有这个在事业上超越她的决心与勇气，你还可以说你真的做了一切你应该做的吗？希望你渴望的不是性生活而已，而是重新得到她对你的仰慕。

拿出男子汉的气概吧，在事业上做个真正的大丈夫，不管结果如何，你都可以抬起头，不再伤感！我想男人会同情脆弱的女人由怜生爱，但女人不会欣赏男人的苦情（女人的眼泪会换取男人的拥抱，男人的眼泪只会让女人想拔腿逃，尤其是一个已经说明不再爱你的女人），就像男人非常乐意独力担起经济责任，但反过来我们不能要求女人也会有同样的情怀，你真的爱她，就拿出你的勇气重新做个英雄好汉吧，加油！

发奋图强去成就你的事业吧！别忘了，我们是男人，男人的爱情是不能靠恳求得回来的，你要得到什么，唯一的方式就是证明你的资格。用男人的方式证明自己吧，因为你是男人，而这才是我们男人的模式。

xboynite

楼主13年才有酱的烦恼，小弟才结婚两年多就遇到这问题了~  

同是天涯沦落人~

xboynite

楼主13年才有酱的烦恼，小弟才结婚两年多就遇到这问题了~  

同是天涯沦落人~

mancai

以成就和付出来衡量另一半，这是很可悲的

tonyy2999

回复 54# mancai

对, 成功和爱情不应该是联系在一起的。成功取决于许多因素,有时适当时机和运气，在一个人的成功路线的重要组成部分。

我评价他人人格和个性，而不是财富。这就是为什么我是一个器官捐赠者。使用财富来判断一个人是非常错误的思维。

Bella33

感情，不是用事业成功来衡量。

觉得楼主需要给她一点新鲜感吧，不再亲密也能一起吃烛光晚餐，也能一起 ...
全阳卦 发表于 19-4-2011 11:24 AM

    Agree!

Nini888

回复 55# tonyy2999


    楼主。。。把伤心，绝望化成力量吧。。。和你妻子好好谈谈，把问题找出来。。。希望你们有婉转的余地。。。

Ming_yii82

我的媽。。lz好像我。。
你太太很年輕就嫁你
當他出社會時，工作讓他慢慢的growth。。
他變的也有信心。朋友交多了。思維也會upgrade
你現在要做是問她心理要的是什麼
你一定要回到以前的感覺。。追她愛她騰她的感覺
有孩子時都會忘記曾經的感覺lor
記得不管5年10年。。感覺一定要有
feel要慢慢追回來。。
lz加油。。信你一定可以???

mancai

回复  mancai

对, 成功和爱情不应该是联系在一起的。成功取决于许多因素,有时适当时机和运气，在一个人 ...
tonyy2999 发表于 19-4-2011 11:13 PM

你现在的处境真的很糟糕，那十年已烙印在她脑海里，也不能要求她忽然对你重燃爱火
叫你出去找女人，好像就叫你出去搞外遇，被孩子知道你在外面有女人，你的孩子将来会怎样看你？
如果你真的很爱她，每天做让她开心的事，煮晚饭或早餐给她吃，希望会融化她的心吧，毕竟她曾深爱过你，加油！

Ming_yii82

U tell her this song
Ne-yo .....one in a million
Lyrics r good.. U read it
I oso lazy translate.. Sorry ahh
She keep complain mayb somting bad was kept in heart
She care abt 10 yers ago.. Tell her nobody stay in pass.. Everday is new day~
i just worries she 變心。。did ur family know ur problems?
Did u ever ask her best frens?
Other solution is.. Switching her back take care of ur childs..
Childs r both de.. So ask her be responsible as a mum n wife..
If too longer she keep focusing on job.. Its make her lost focus in family too
U must keep thinking positively..belive urself.. Let ur child ur parent ur frenz tat the love u blow on her.. Ppl got eyes can see lor
Rf rf my english laoya lor

jestx

'She was not up the mark 10 years ago, but i am still love her. I believe "forgive and forget" for a long term relationship, no one is perfect. If i am perfect, my another half would not be her. We love the person the way she was'

Lz,i love these sentenses, but never tell her that if u are perfect, ur another half would not be her. i'm sure she be pissed off. sensitive tu